I am frequently drawn to stories about love, in all its incarnations: philia, apage and eros. I am particularly an ardent believer in loves ability to triumph over adversity. More realistically stated, I’m exceptionally stubborn about things that tug at the heart-strings. I have been in love more times that it may be considered decent to own to. And during those periods “in between” love affairs, I have tried to fill the time as best I could until fortune should smile on me and the lightening bolts of love would strike again. So imagine my chagrin as I began to hear scandalous reports and see articles about the death of romantic love and old-fashioned courtship in the Black community. Admittedly, I’d been a bit distracted, but how had I missed the full demise of Black love?
It did appear as though the rituals that I was accustomed to were nearly gone. Replaced with, a little research revealed, all manner of “pairings”: hookups, hangouts, meetups ~any and every kind of combination except the typical one-on-one tete’ a tete’ that was the one time norm. On the surface, these new-fangled styles of becoming acquainted did not seem so awful, until I began to understand that these pairings often don’t progress beyond this “casual” stage.
I quickly assumed that this was a plague that had beset only the dating young, however was very shortly apprised that it was also contiguous and pervasive in the over forty set, a case of cross contamination…a pandemic condition. Well, I thought…time to take up knitting on Friday evenings. And then I had a second thought, why not protest? No surrender…simply refuse to accept the status quo.
And so, this is my official position on the matter at hand. I am holding out for the very purpose that Providence created Saturday evenings and Sunday afternoons: shy introductions, the coy acceptance of affection, butterflies of anticipation, awkwardness and missteps along the way… the indulgent sweetness of a goodnight kiss. How long I will be required to stand my ground is at present unsure, however I remain ever hopeful that soon others will join me in the Resistance.